Comments on Editor Jennifer: Editor Jennifer's November Novelists Contest #1: B...

Raven West - First Line of Book, guess it didn'...

2009-11-06T21:00:34.632-08:00

Raven West - First Line of Book, guess it didn't post the first time, but here it is:

“I DON’T WANT TO DIE!”

It was a bright, cold day in April, and the clocks...

2009-11-06T10:24:56.071-08:00

It was a bright, cold day in April, and the clocks didn't work.

Some stories cannot be told until the danger of li...

2009-11-06T10:12:58.619-08:00

Some stories cannot be told until the danger of life has passed.

Steam filled the shower stall, whirling tendrils t...

2009-11-06T09:33:09.284-08:00

Steam filled the shower stall, whirling tendrils that ate at her red skin

She was already awake from the screaming that pier...

2009-11-05T21:52:31.206-08:00

She was already awake from the screaming that pierced her dream as her mother shook her, yelling, "Wake up, Eva, quick, and get onto the deck at once."

Maria de los Angeles was the name chosen by her mo...

2009-11-05T18:21:29.048-08:00

Maria de los Angeles was the name chosen by her mother, courting some divine miracle to deliver her from the tribulations of raising ten children on a hard-scrabble ranchito in the stark uplands of Sinaloa, and it worked: she died giving birth to little Mari.

As I stand in my spacious, comfortable office look...

2009-11-05T16:29:17.359-08:00

As I stand in my spacious, comfortable office looking out the east window on the 43rd floor, the letter in my hand, I realize just how badly I can’t get a grip.

I see a NaNo dare coming on...use - wet whale on s...

2009-11-05T13:31:44.974-08:00

I see a NaNo dare coming on...use - wet whale on steroids - because that is a bucket o'brilliance!

Wet blood stained the parchment in a perfect circl...

2009-11-05T06:03:25.355-08:00

Wet blood stained the parchment in a perfect circle.

Standing among the stars, his eyes darted between ...

2009-11-04T20:03:54.114-08:00

Standing among the stars, his eyes darted between the two motionless fleets facing off in the darkness of space in front of him.

Ok I will play! Brianna lifted her trembling hand...

2009-11-04T11:10:24.095-08:00

Ok I will play!

Brianna lifted her trembling hand and reached out with bloodstained fingers.

Here's mine: When they said life sucked they ...

2009-11-04T08:34:25.968-08:00

Here's mine:

When they said life sucked they weren't kidding, but then again, they hadn't been to the island of West California either.

She was dreaming about silver unicorns, spell-thro...

2009-11-04T07:11:10.465-08:00

She was dreaming about silver unicorns, spell-throwing warlocks and lumbering, roaring ogres.

Here's my NaNo first sentence - Keefe Walker ...

2009-11-04T05:50:50.562-08:00

Here's my NaNo first sentence -

Keefe Walker frowned and shook his head, wondering how the week had slipped away.

Not as great as some of the others here, but at least I'm writing!
;-)

“Take that you dirty pirate,” Ben called out. Ch...

2009-11-04T04:32:17.212-08:00

“Take that you dirty pirate,” Ben called out.

Chris Wager

“Eighty-seven. Eight-nine. Ninety.” There was a...

2009-11-03T17:48:19.622-08:00

“Eighty-seven. Eight-nine. Ninety.” There was a plunk for each of the coins dropped on the counter.

The error was unintentional at first, but then I worked it into the story and it helped the MCs meet! Funny how that works sometimes.

Okay, here's mine! "Raith bel Alleman fe...

2009-11-03T16:47:37.379-08:00

Okay, here's mine!

"Raith bel Alleman felt his father's death the moment it happened."

Here's mine: "I killed my best friend to...

2009-11-03T11:18:21.628-08:00

Here's mine:

"I killed my best friend today."

I thought I did, Khoz!

2009-11-03T10:17:38.756-08:00

I thought I did, Khoz!

My submission: "Less than thirty minutes bef...

2009-11-03T09:52:19.592-08:00

My submission:

"Less than thirty minutes before his gruesome death, Eann Offutt stepped out of the short-range shuttle and braced himself against the extreme heat and humidity."

Top that, baby!! :-D

I never meant to throw the baby out with the bathw...

2009-11-03T08:33:08.126-08:00

I never meant to throw the baby out with the bathwater, but it slid past me like a wet whale on steroids.

Here's my first line: I ran over an alligator...

2009-11-03T06:45:00.952-08:00

Here's my first line:

I ran over an alligator today.

Here is my nanowrimo book's first sentence: D...

2009-11-03T05:16:12.752-08:00

Here is my nanowrimo book's first sentence:

Dad ignored the dead pedestrians cluttering Blaise Pascal Road as the Newton lifted over them, skirted around them, whizzed by towards Computville.

I don't know why I'm doing this...my first...

2009-11-03T05:16:07.811-08:00

I don't know why I'm doing this...my first lines are always lame:

The horse picked its way across the ford, its lathered sides heaving.

Here is my first line: Jacob Ingrahm pressed the...

2009-11-03T04:36:47.705-08:00

Here is my first line:

Jacob Ingrahm pressed the play button on the blinking answering machine.